I write to get over you. The emotion inside my chest becomes too much to bear, too much to sort through. I need to put myself back in order. And I cannot do that by just thinking inside my head. I need to write what I am feeling. I need to document every emotion of my very being. I rip myself apart when I write because I test the very grain of every emotion, every feeling, every experience. I rip myself apart so that I can put the pieces back together, with you outside of the pieces, with you out of my being.
I write to stay sane and so that I can meet you again. Just so that I experience you again. Just so that I can feel you piercing through my heart, my soul again. Just so that you take away the peace and leave behind a turmoil for me to write and sort out again.
I love the turmoil that comes with you. I love the unrest that you bring. I love how the emotion spills out of my chest, leaving me breathless. I love how you break me. I love the sleepless nights, while I sort myself out. I love how life is full of you even when you are long gone.
I write to sort myself out. I write to tame the emotion. I write to get over you…but I wish I did not write.