Walking away from you was the hardest part,

Coz I never did

You left me standing, rooted to the spot

The pain that sliced through me was worse than what I ever felt

I looked at the pic of the pretty girl that you walked to

And thought a thousand times, I’m as pretty if not prettier

I wondered a thousand times if you and her would understand each other’s silence, as we did

I wanted to call you a million times and beg you to consider what you never did

Saved only by an ounce of self respect that lurked in a corner

Call it false pride but each text answered crisply

Steeled me not to message again

Until after aeons, chance brought us together again

And you messed me up again

And it took me months to get back to the very rails, that you pushed me off

You watch me, follow me, but don’t deserve me

Coz what can be accepted just behind closed doors

Cannot really matter to you

And I refuse you

Coz I matter to myself